I have started and erased a post multiple times over the last week. I don’t know why other than to say that over the past few weeks or so, I haven’t felt like I had anything really worth saying. I kind of still don’t really know what to write about.

I could tell y’all about my progress on the Shetland Triangle that I’ve been working on… Surprised? So am I. I don’t think I’ve said anything about it. (If I’m wrong, please don’t worry about correcting me. I’m feeling too blah to care right now.) I’m starting the edging just as soon as I click “publish” and I haven’t even taken pictures of it yet.

I could tell y’all about my frustration with a sweater that I’ve been designing and how the stitch pattern I chose is not looking anything like what I chose despite following the instructions very carefully. (I do have a picture for you for that one.)

Sweater Swatch

I could tell y’all about how I spent a lovely weekend this past weekend with my friends Anne, PlumTexan, Liz and Kelly as well as my impromptu trip to Galveston to see my Mom, Papa, brothers and Mom’s boyfriend.

But when we get right down to it, I’ve just not been feeling like joining the outside world (much less the innernets) lately. Regardless of the fun I’ve had with everyone (and trust me, y’all truly have no idea how much I’ve needed it) the fact of the matter is that I’m depressed. It’s been in “remission” so to speak for quite a while. And that was good. But it hasn’t helped that I’m not on my meds right now (Please, don’t bother to chide me. I know. Ok?) and that I’m feeling kind of stuck in a dead end job and frustrated with my lack of completed edumacation and familial stresses that cannot be helped nearly as much as I wish that I could. It’s really been quite overwhelming and even my job performance has suffered. I hate that I’ve let it work it’s way into the workplace because I’ve tried very hard to keep it out because trust me, I do not need another year end review in which I leave in tears.

And honestly, I could tell y’all a lot more about the depression but really, what is there to say. It happens and there’s not much I feel I can do about it right now besides ride it out and hope that the sun shines again soon. Surprisingly, a lot of the common signs have not been apparent with this round of it. My house is still clean. I am still showered. (Just kidding! Depressed or not, I’ve never not bathed. (double negative anyone?)) I’m eating healthily and losing weight (Which is planned. Thanks Weight Watchers!)

Just in case anyone wanted a photographic representation to better interpret how I’ve been feeling:

Rain at Home

I don’t know guys. I just feel all cattywhompus. My best friend is on the other side of the world and after I spend a week with her in August, she goes back for another year. (This is so cliche, but I have to say it) I’m still single. I live by myself. And thusly, I am my own best friend a lot of the time. I’m not feeling all that great about the state of the world today. Want me to stop yet? Yeah. Don’t worry, I don’t feel like expounding any more tonight.

I’ll leave you with pictures of my current trusty companions who don’t care if I spend all evening after I get home from work in ratty sweats and a t-shirt.

Let sleeping cats lay.

A Very Long Engagement

Aubergine Boy and a Tech Boy Sock
(Note that even though you see that sock, it really hasn’t had more than two rows added to it in months. Apparently even just holding it on my lap like I’m going to knit it is enough…)

All in all, I’m sick of feeling like shit folks.